This is a follow up to a post I did about holiday stress and stress in general. The post was done from the perspective of one who is dealing with and or has dealt with exorbitant amounts of stress.Unlike many “experts” and or self-designated “leaders, who have an abundance of letters following their names. These attesting to their level of expertise, my experience comes from actual experience. Not from something I read in a book or heard on a talk show somewhere. Instead what I impart is based on what I have learned from the stressful situations that I have had to deal with in my own life. I have always tended to be a person that is more inclined to take advice from those who have actual, practical experience in something as opposed to those “educated experts”. Kind of like the concept that people without children should not give advice on parenting.
That being said my experience has not been run of the mill, ” oh my gosh i broke a nail” stress. My experiences have been along the lines of:
[list sid=”stress_issues” type=”checklist2″]
- Adopted child – unable to locate birth mother and (supposed 4 siblings)
- Contentious and combative relationship with adoptive mother
- Only child – with limited if any interactions with extended (adoptive) family on both sides (due to internal family discord).
- 15 years of marriage to a Bi-Polar Manic Depressive
- Divorce (due to domestic violence) and subsequent single parenting
- Cancer diagnosis and eventual death of only child
- Navigating relationships with varying degrees of success(includes walking away from
- Extended periods of celibacy
- Non-Traditional Adult learner – currently in third year of college degree
- Having to move back in with adoptive mother
- Complete loss of independence
- Complete loss of privacy
- Living with Alzheimer’s patient (in the next room)
Thankfully I do not have to navigate or deal with all of these things all at once. Actually come to think of it looking over this list, I haven’t really had much time to read the self-help books etc. I have been too busy dealing with these things.
Disclaimer and Clarification
Those of you who are in position to seek help via therapy and who have had difficulties in navigating the issues that have come up in your own life. I strongly urge you to spend the time to find someone who you can work with to resolve your own personal issues. If you find yourself struggling with depression or feelings of not being able to cope – the same internet that brought you to this site and this article can link you to resources that will provide help, therapy etc.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness has excellent resources and local chapters that have all kinds of help and information for those that need it and is an excellent place to start.
There is also a wealth of information on the American Institute of Stress Website
So my scribblings about dealing with stress are based on my own practical experience.The rants and vents are partially therapeutic as well as ultimately creating a doorway that someone might be able to walk through and get the help they need.
Someone may read something that resonates. If a bell goes off or you have that Epiphany moment, do not be afraid to seek help. One thing I can attest to is trying always beats a failure.
If you don’t try to find relief from the stress you may be feeling, it’s not likely to just go away on its own.
There is help out there – if you seek you definitely will find it.