Me Myself and I: June 2005 Archives

Here is the bottom line...i can stay on with the all stars and complete and finalize the philly trip and the florida trip which i should have assistance with coordinating or I can leave right now and let things fall where they may...the choice is up to that person...

I cannot take it anymore this is not a person who if i knew what i knew now I would have any business dealings with in any circumstances. It is way beyond ridiculous and right now my focus needs to be on my son...and nothing else...anyone who cannot understand this...needs to not be dealing with me period...

I have continually stated that I do not want to strand the kids but being hit with a guilt trip today about that didnt help matters at all.

Haven't heard from Dante yet so I am assuming he's still getting that MIBG scan done. I have heard from Kyleek and he's saying we will have to do the photos on friday...meaning i don't have to come out tonight? now that would be a great thing...

Spoke to good old George...he's funny. Strikes me as a real "southern boy". Time will reveal the truth in that statement.

For sure he's taking his time and thats quite all right with me. I definitely am in no KIND of rush at all.

Once again, Stay Tuned...

Usually in times of crisis, you find out who your real friends are as those who are not step back and those who are step up.

This puts a different spin on my situation as there really wasn't a number of people to step up or back.

The one constant through all this has been TJ and I reluctantly relate the goings on here to her because at times it seems like theres nothing good going on and I get tired of relating nothing but bad news.

Finally decided to call Samson and find out what he wanted. He basically wanted to talk to Dante to find out how he's doing. I have left it up to Dante to tell him about the surgery next week. We both kind of have an unspoken agreement not to tell him at this point.

Good thing I did call he plans on bringing several members of his family to his graduation, unbeknownst to me. Evidently his father is back for a minute and he's coming. Along with whomever is living in that "house" at the moment.

Busy working the phones today. Spoke to Katie at Cancer Care and spoke to Dr. Borochov(egads the spelling) Dr. Borochov and Dr. Bauldauf(?) are planning to come to Dante's graduation. I had to fill them in on what has been going on since we last spoke which was probably around the first of the year. Katie I haven't spoken to in a few weeks but i still had to bring her up to speed.

This morning was a challenge to get up and get moving. Seemed like I just couldn't get into gear. I actually thought about not going in for a moment, but then I thought about the paltry pay check that I already am going to get from having to take off next week and decided to find some way to get my azz in gear.

Dante has to be at the hospital today at 1pm for his injection for the mibg scan on wednesday. I was going to try and meet up with him If i can I need to call him though i think he plans on being here at 1 thirty and its actually at one...

This morning was a challenge to get up and get moving. Seemed like I just couldn't get into gear. I actually thought about not going in for a moment, but then I thought about the paltry pay check that I already am going to get from having to take off next week and decided to find some way to get my azz in gear.

Dante has to be at the hospital today at 1pm for his injection for the mibg scan on wednesday. I was going to try and meet up with him If i can I need to call him though i think he plans on being here at 1 thirty and its actually at one...

Always on the edge of tears...Walking around smiling but feeling like tears are but one breath away. Trying to find things to occupy my mind so that sadness does not enter in. Maybe today I will just go find someplace off to myself and cry for a while...Oh the travails of being stressed. At least I am not breaking out in hives like last week.

It's Father's Day and i must be one of the only people around here who does NOT have a father nor any other person in that category around me to deal with. If God let's me live to see next year I would seriously contemplate not BEING in the US on this day.

Legs have been screaming since I got back from doing laundry. Lugging the bag up two flights of stairs im sure didn't help much. Probably will watch the game tonight hope Detroit wins. No mention of the other game - life's too short.

There needs to be a "Father's Day" free zone where you can go and not hear one word about Father's day or what to get your father for father's day or what your PLANS or for father's day...etc...hmm maybe another country will do it?

I can spend the entire day doing laundry or, i can spend half the day doing laundry and the later part of the day/evening at a tournament watching Bingo coach and Headache play. Or I can sit at home wishing father's day hurries up and ends

Jury's still out on my final choice..

Breaking my body down lugging heavy things up and down two flights of stairs. This is what happens when there are no men in your life no uncles, brothers, significant others, cousins etc...you are forced to do things you wouldn't normally have to do...and im not in all that great a shape in the first place.

So stressed out yesterday I was breaking out in hives by the time i got home.

Dude is a dud, hasn't called and has been online the few times that I have signed on...in a chatroom most of the time...and hasn't spoken a word...

I thought about saying something but decided against it. Deleted his number from my cellphone...because thats a pointless thing...should i have been tempted to call...which i refuse to do.

Am so out of it won't be going to Kingdome Tournament game tomorrow night. I couldn't handle it. If the last time i saw the other jerk is any indication it is best i stay far away from him as well.

Men always claim they want to find a good woman and settle down....well evidently the only good thing they are looking for is tied into appearances and has nothing to do with who you are as a person...its politically incorrect to say so but if you aren't slim and have a pretty face you basically are assed out as far as relationships are concerned.

I give up...im tired of being propositioned by assholes who think im willing to settle for anything...and will jump on the mini interest shown and give them the quick sex fix they are looking for.

If im going to be doomed to be single then let me just stay that way...

Working on second year of celibacy....what a life...

Son back and forth in the hospital, new job, bills, and a group of kids counting on me to find a way to get them to the nationals in orlando florida in less than two months.

I want to go somewhere and cry so bad ----but as much as I want to cry...the tears won't come...

As it is way too technical to get into, I am very SLOWLY and meticulously moving the entries from Dante's Inferno over to this blog and it basically is a retype re write situation so it will take a bit of a minute...Ultimately its better because everything is all in one place I can organize entries better and it will ultimately look a lot nicer...

Stick around and see for yourselves...

The song itself is an explanation for those of you who don't know it(probably many of you) here's a quickie...

If you're coming with me you need nerves of steel,
'Cause I take corners on two wheels
It's a never ending Circus ride,
Faint of heart need not apply,

Chorus

Mi vida loca over and over
Desitny turns on a dime,
I go where the wind blows
You can't tame a wild rose
Welcome to my crazy life...