Thalidomide and Celebrex....this is what they want to put Dante on this week. The thalidomide has been used in other forms of cancer to kill the blood supply to existing tumours...Of course with this no one knows how or if it will do anything...Nice thing about rare forms of cancer...
They are going to have to reconstruct dante's bladder. I dont know when but I do know that much. Today's doctor visit confirmed that. They evidently have a board of resident doctors at the hospital that determine the course of treatment on patients and i guess especially in this casethey are going to meet and discuss what the group or the majority feel would be best to do in this case as far as treatment and surgery goes.
It's sheer lunacy that a parent of a sick child in the midst of appointments and scheduling for treatment for cancer has to decide whether to go to work and maintain financial stability or to be by their child's side while they are going through all these proceedures. Yet thats exactly the choice I have to make. Guilt does not even begin to cover it and the only saving grace in all this is that the hospital where he is seeing doctors and getting tested is up the street from where my hospital is(where I work).
There is a point at which, after continuous gut-wrenching, stress leaves you feeling like you have been run over by a truck several times and then in this case have to get up like nothing just happened. The graduation was a major high but was way too short lived. The surgery was and is tense filled, on edge, now what next type of situation.
I miss Dante, even though he wasn't technically around me all that much when he was home, I guess just knowing he's not right downstairs and that he's in a hospital, just doesn't sit well. Don't think it should. Even though he sounded better today for the most part and he did actually get up and walk around, theres this part of me that feels eternal sadness...
