Feeling a little depressed today...can't say or figure one reason as to why. Figured I would perk up now that I actually am making plans to go see my mom but guess not....I keep saying i am going to make that "List" and i need to just go on and do it for once and for all - think i will post it here when im done
The list - is the qualities I want in a mate....stay tuned....
When things seem to be most stressful, it is my writing here at least, that seems to go by the wayside. The holidays were in my mind something to get past as soon as possible....never quite got into the full holiday spirit.
Been battling depression on and off....working through the relationship with stanley with its ups and downs...and now getting back into working out watching more carefully what im eating and continue the progress that I had started last year.
Christmas I thought would be real difficult and in fact it wound up that New Years was way more of a challenge. While I was at turns, out of sorts through both, New years actually got me down to the point where i was always one step away from tears.
Everything around me suffered as the depression that came along with the holidays got me so down that just let everything go - around the apartment especially. The feeling was one of trying to do something without really wanting to or even knowing why.
I had a conversation with stanley on that very thing - what I need to figure out is the why to things now...more than the reasoning that "it has to be done for whatever immediate reasons" to redevelop or create new reasons to want to do anything - and i would gather that that was the depression talking.
