I am reminded this afternoon of the abject loneliness i strive so hard to forget .....
I had a conversation with my mother during which she asked me if i would give her money to help pay her taxes since shes going to be taxed for the proceedes from the sale of both houses as well as paying taxes in south carolina.
Nevermind that i was forced to move twice in less than a year...and that i lost almost everything I owned - many many things of dante's that i've cried for knowing that i will never see them or him again....
Nevermind that i never received anything from the sale of the first house and that the money she did give me from the sale of her own house was less than half - even though my father's share was equal to half and as his only heir legally i should have gotten half....
Nevermind that she stuck me for an additional 3K at the time because she miscalculated how much she actually gave me
Nevermind the amounts spent on keeping dante in school and on his funeral arrangements and on me trying to finally after over twenty years trying to set up a comfortable HOME
Nevermind the landlord that is hasslsing me to pay him an additional $400 dollars for a cleaning service that he claims he hired after i moved out of his place and only having lived there for less than a year....
To hear her ask me for money when she has more than enough to pay what is owed and still have money to live out the rest of her days in luxury...and to say that it was "only fair she asked me" just reminded me of the empty and lonely feelings i fight so hard with every single day of my life
While i made no response other than to say i couldn't help her...i felt crushed inside...and very very alone....
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