Which is where I feel I am right now. At least I feel like I need to make the adjustment for the days ahead. have been talking on and off with Stan about his mom and it just seems like she's a lot sicker than what he even realizes and in talking with him he expresses a feeling of needing to "be around her more" right now and I wholeheartedly agree. She is just now completing a session of chemo and apparently is going to start radiation treatments in a week or two..
And I feel like I have to adjust - to the fact that we probably won't see much of each other in the coming weeks...not an assumption its been discussed - theres no good way to discuss anything else and admittedly for me that is really tough - but what else can i do? Aside from pray which i do all the time anyway....I guess it's also cause i feel myself gearing up to shut down when that starts to happen....defense mechanism maybe>? so it won't hurt so much?
*sighs*
I just on one level feel like i have had to make so many adjustments in the last few years...im tired....of even having to contemplate making anymore - which doesnt dismiss the fact that i will and i do have to...
Could just be overly sensitive - could be just a bad day.....could be a lot of things.....
i shall continue to pray for the wisdom to figure it all out...
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