Letting go of people and relationships are all well and good when the situations and the people are toxic and causing you more pain than you can tolerate. However your mouth can say goodbye but your head and your heart can be in a different place. usually due to unfinished issues or things not said. I feel like these things could cause one or in this case me to never fully recuperate from the situation in which i chose to walk away and after weeks and days spent contemplating and praying over this I decided today to send a message to Walter, since his birthday is coming up....and be done with it - as opposed to the urges i was having to call him which i fought mightily I felt that this was the lesser of two evils.....the message follows:
Be easy and rest assured that I am not trying to infiltrate or insinuate myself into your life. I have not and probably never will forget your birth date. I have remained silent on purpose and have only taken this moment to break my silence to wish you a happy birthday and also to just say the following.
You congratulated yourself at the end of things between us and expressed to me the last time we spoke about the "fortuitous" manner in which things ended and more specifically about the phone records that let you know the "truth" about the phone calls. Ironic isn't it that your triumph in finding the truth was the direct result of my desire to BE truthful in the first place. There were many many opportunities for me to "disclose" the situation which i never took advantage of. Even though i prayed every single day for the truth to come to light. When it finally did...and I was given a choice..between continuing to lie..for your sake...or to tell the truth...for my own sake....I told the truth...and I will never regret doing that no matter how things turned out. I do not hate you, I never have hated you, and i honestly do not wish you any harm, not to you nor your family. You can take comfort in knowing that I am no longer residing in Brooklyn at all and that it is extremely unlikely that our paths will ever cross again in this lifetime whether by accident or design.
Again I wish you all the best and continue to pray for your happiness in all that you do.
Happy Birthday,
Alinda
