I had a conversation a few days ago with someone about Ash Wednesday and the things that people "traditionally" give up for lent - and we talked about giving up more unconventional things, like bad habits or things that were not as tangible as - meat or candy etc.....and i had been thinking abou tthat since that conversation and I have decided that for lent this year I am giving up my fear of being hurt....no not so tangible but something that I have allowed to color my judgement and interactions with others, that has prevented me from forming and developing relationships of any substance or meaning and that has fostered a battle within me that is constant over mind numbing depression and negative feelings that my spirit which is not one of sadness and gloom has had to fight with on a constant basis causing me to feel "tired for no reason - medically or otherwise" has made me subject to extreme mood swings, and has I feel taken a lot of the good and fun out of me...so I feel its fitting and in keeping with the path that I have chosen for myself that I let go of pain that keeps me from taking chances, and that i let go of hurt that keeps me prisoner in my own world afraid to venture out for fear of being hurt again...
During this lenten season....i am letting go one of the "learned" mentality and behaviours I have in retrospect clung to and because the old me...the me that suffered from low self-esteem, feelings of unworthhiness, fear of inadequacy and all manner of negative self value and worth must die...so that the new - REAL me who is not afraid, who walks in the authority given by God with a spirit that is triumphant - in this season of renewal and sacrifices that are made so that things would be BETTER this is what I choose...
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind;
2Timothy 1:7
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