I truly feel that I have tried with everything inside me to look past what "everyone" would deem a doomed and ill-fated relationship that would lead to nothing but heartache(which it has)
I have never put myself in a position to say, oh well i can't date or see anyone because of how i feel about W. I have in fact tried to be open minded about the few people who have expressed any interest beyond the usual un purposeful flirting. Reason being IF as it was said over and over again, that "right person" were to come along I did not want to exclude them because of a situation that would not go anywhere.
Without exception, every single person that has tried to talk to me since 2000, has wanted sex. Has expressed the fact that they wanted sex and when presented with my position of not wanting to have sex with anyone other than a fiancee' or a husband - then began the major bullshyting that would end up with them ultimately giving up once they realized i wasn't kidding.
Some never made it that far - they just refused to put in that amount of work and i was of course labled all kinds of a bytch and that i was too "tight" and that no one was going to get into that situation with me unless i "loosened up"
In the meantime the situation with B was evolving and i was growing to realize the depths of his deception...that situation coupled with the many "zeroes" that i was encountering really did a number on my self esteem.
My weight zoomed up to the point where i didnt even want to get on the scale...
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