I so need to move..and yet im trapped here....my mother has taken things to whole new levels...and understanidng and knowing her situation....fine...but i am under so much pressure already....i keep trying to explain to her that i can't literally take anymore and its like she's not hearing me...its like everything i have ever done wrong or incorrect in her eyes is being held eternally against me and she is on a crusade to make my life miserable....
she opens my mail....she has ransacked my apartment and i dont even know where half of my things are...she has no respect for my privacy she pops up and walks into my place whenever she wants....
As bad as all this sounds...here's the kicker...i can't AFFORD to move...i just don't have the money for a deposit on an apartment...and so i get to stay here and be driven mad...or into a stroke...
Her beef is she wants me to give her money towards bills on the house... money that i don't have...with dante just starting college and the money that i have already had to put out for him im so far in debt that i dont know if i will even live long enough to get out of it...shes not comprehending this....im holding onto my job by a thread and i pretty much have a feeling that come time for my probation to be over im going to be OUT of a job...because of the rigid attendance policies in effect at NYP.....which does nothing to make me feel better because all the days i took off were either due to dante being in the hospital or me being so incredibly sick that i couldnt even raise up out of bed
People say you can't run away from your problems but at what point do you throw your hands up in the air and say i give up...time to start over..??
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