I wanted to do the right thing, to stop being taken for granted, and being disrespected - to get out of what was a completly horrid situation with a person who is a user and a liar and a manipulator and who never gave one care about me or my well being
Wonder why it is that in doing the right thing, you ultimately wind up feeling so incredibly horrid.
Additionally, wonder why is it that the person who has already been horribly mistreated winds up feeling worse...and the person who perpetrated the sequence of events leading to and creating the hurtful situation...gets to skip off into the sunset none the worse for their adventures...
Wonder why it is that as much as i know and realize i need sleep and rest to get to work in the morning that I cannot fall asleep no matter how hard I try...
Wonder why when you are hurt so many times by so many things that you develop an immunity to tears and find yourself unable to cry even though the tears feel like they want to come in a flood.
As a result of my "walking away" a program stands in ruins, the kids that I worked with will not be going to florida, and I get to make the wonderful announcement tomorrow night.
If that weren't cheerful enough I have had two rejections in two days by two different people, one of which took one look at me and ran for the hills....but i am supposed to maintain a cheery demeanour and discount these things as no big deal....
meanwhile i can't sleep, and I cant eat anything much....and those that say i should just suck it up and keep it moving...need to trade places with me for just one day and then see if they still offer the same advice...
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